that mom bod



So this is hard to talk about. I mean, who wants to hear about another mom complaining about how children (and a little age) have wrecked her body? But then exclaim that having those little babies is so much more important than those extra 10 lbs they can't seem to lose.

So boring, right?

But the truth is, all that stuff is happening to me.

The truth is I'm at the ripe old age of 32 (I think, after turning 30 I've lost interest in counting). I'm a mom to two little girls, the youngest being 13 months. I stopped breastfeeding her about 3 months ago. That was a traumatic experience, but it did help me get back to feeling totally normal again. No more hormones coursing through my body, controlling milk production, my ravenous hunger, and my urge to be around my baby 24 hours a day.

After being pregnant for 10 months, and then nursing for another 10 months, it truthfully takes almost 2 years to get back to feeling yourself again. And then after you get back to being just you and not a feeding vessel for your child, you look around and realize that those pregnancy pounds haven't disappeared yet.

So you start to workout again, like really workout. Like you go to the gym and sweat and grunt with all those people who didn't just have a baby. Those people who can do sit-ups like it's no big deal. I used to be a bad-A at sit-ups, now it seems like my middle section refuses to try anymore. But somehow when you workout really hard, you end up being really hungry more often. All that time being pregnant and breastfeeding has conditioned you that hunger is a bad thing. When you're hungry you're probably going to puke (while your pregnant) or feel very faint very soon (while breastfeeding). It's a cycle that is hard to back yourself out of.

But here I am, still working on those last 10lbs (plus or minus). The only way I was really successful at losing weight before was if I just told myself how terrible I looked. If I felt terrible about myself, then I focused on every calorie I was eating. I just don't want to play that game anymore. That's not what a mature adult does. Making yourself feel terrible about yourself is dumb.

I've recently decided to just give myself a break. Mother's of young children should have a special pass, or at least I'm making up my own special pass. I'm going to keep working out, because I love it. I'm going to try and eat healthy, because I know it's good for me. I'm no longer going to worry about what the scale says every week. I'm no longer going to obsess over how flat my tummy used to be and worry about where that love handle came from. There will be another season in my life where my kids won't want me around all the time and won't need me to hold them. But now they need that and I don't want to leave them to go and workout for 2 hours every day. So there's my pass. Pass given.



2 comments :

  1. I feel ya.... I just hate the fact that we feel this way. It's so silly! I've been killing myself in the gym to try to lose the 5lbs I gained back after losing 12lbs.... I've been busting my ass for TWELVE weeks solid and haven't lost a pound. Which is 100% due to the fact that I don't want to be strict about my diet. I'm exhausted.

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    1. That's funny because I think you look pretty amazing! Our perceptions of how we look versus how others see us is SO different! I think you do a pretty awesome job of balancing it all and looking fabulous! Even if it is only from afar!

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